Watching
by MissBe
Summary: Colby watches his partner while she watches Ian Edgerton. Five min Fic.


**_Greetings readers. This is an exercise in non-dialog narration. I'm normally a dialogue based writer. I could't get the idea that Ian Edgerton took life seriously, even his relationships. I felt that he understood the consequences of feelings getting involved, and I wondered what scenarios, what people would cause him to get his heart involved. This is the first drabble about it that I am willing to publish. Happy reading._**

**_Disclaimer: Most characters are not mine (except for the *she* that I pair with Ian), I do not write for profit, just for the entertainment of writing, and sharing that with people who love to read. Translations may be off, and suggestions for better translations would be great._**

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She always watched him when _he_ came to town.

It was like some weird courtship ritual, no matter how many times he went out with Nikki or how hard she flirted with him, _she_ would watch.

And I would watch her.

I never knew if he saw the look in her eyes when no one was looking, I caught it just a few times myself when I quickly turned my head in her direction. Sometimes it was a flash of pain, sometimes a flash of jealousy, but most times, it was a look of pure determination. I had no idea how she was going to do anything about all that determination if all she did was watch.

Sometimes, she would look straight at me and give me a sad smile that would break my heart. She knew that I watched her. There were times where I had my chair in a white knuckled grip to keep myself from going over there and sweeping her into a big hug. I was her Op-ba after all, her damn _big brother_. Just a friend. Sometimes I wanted to scream at her to give _me_ a chance, move _me_ into a different category, any category but the one she had me in, but then I would pause and realize the fruitlessness of it all. So I watched, and she watched.

"Hey, we're going to get a beer."

"Really? Where at? I could use one after this case."

"Actually, it's just us."

This time I'm looking right at her as she stares past Nikki right into _his_ eyes. The look of hurt and longing are so apparent that no one could miss it if they were looking. I look out the door in time to see Ian's gaze move from Nikki's backside to her eyes. She snaps her eyes away for a second, but then looks back at him. He's staring steadily at her, and I know in that moment that he saw the look on her face. She's being called out, and she took the route of escape. Quickly she moves, her chair rolling across the room to hit the wall, out of the room, and she brushes past Nikki in her frantic attempt to get to the stairwell. The whole time _he_ is watching _her._

No one followed her that night, so no one saw her run. Like she did whenever she was stressed. I waited for her. Like a good Op-ba would. I waited hours for her to sneak back into the room, drenched from the rain like a half drowned puppy. She ignored her state of dryness and sat down beside me.

I watch her and we're silent. Minutes pass, and eventually she starts to talk. She speaks of honor and respect. She recognizes that she doesn't have a chance with the man she watches, and even through her feelings, she still honors him by hiding her true feelings. She _suffers_ to give _him_ a comfortable workplace. It makes me mad, and she lays a calming hand on mine. I look into her eyes and _I_ see beauty, serenity, peace. The things I long for the most in my life and I tell her so. She smiles a different sad smile and tells me that is the most beautiful thing anyone had ever told her. She starts to cry and I panic. I am a man, one unused to seeing a woman show her emotions. She begs _my_ forgiveness for unintentionally hurting me because she could not control her heart. It would have been so easy if only she _could_ fall in love with me. It's nothing, at least that's what I tell her. I lift her up off the floor. She doesn't need to know that my heart is breaking and that I'll have to fix it without her, my friend. We had been partners for a few years now, Don was solely a researcher and paper-pusher now. I had needed someone that could keep my back as I slowly took over the team. We were the senior members now, and I could't let her see my weakness. I sent her home with direct orders to use her car and not to worry about me, I was fine.

I watched them both now.

He always watched _her_ when he came to town.

It was like some weird courtship ritual, no matter how many times he went out with Nikki or how hard she flirted with him, _he_ would watch _her_.

One day I talked to Nikki. Asked what she thought. She thought they were great friends, but never lovers. Never. She told me that he watched _her._ I didn't realize that he'd been watching for so long, but I knew that he did now, and we decided to help. The watching was making us nervous. Even though _he_ was in town less than once a month.

I left the book on the desk we left empty for his use. If she saw it, she said nothing. It was an essay by a monk in China that I had met. It spoke of the art of seduction. To seduce a proper lady, he wrote, start at the head and work your way down. Win her heart before winning your way to children he said. I enjoyed the way he had written his essay and I hoped it would get them in the right direction.

_He_ found it on his next trip. I saw him sneaking peaks at the worn pages throughout the day. That night, they talked for the _first_ time. He said hello, she said good evening.

I still watched them both. I watched as _they_ moved through the steps the monk gave them to a happy marriage. I saw that marriage begin with a fervor that revealed a marriage that would never end. I watched and my heart bled.

I found the book on my desk a few years later.

I had lost my partner, _her_, that week because the FBI didn't want to have a separate training center on the West Coast. _He_ was called back and _she_ went with him. I don't remember crying, but I saw the evidence of my night the next morning after she had gone. I came to work with dread in my heart and found the book. On the inside was a note from her:

_Op-ba. Sa-lahng hae yo. I love you. I wish nothing more for you than greatest happiness because once, you honored me with the truth, and honored me with respect for my choice even though you hurt for so long. It is with this in mind that I return this book to you with a gift. Look at the cover._

Inside the front cover was a name and phone number.

_Liz Warner_

_310-555-8796_

I looked up when I heard the chime of the doors open and there stood the woman I thought I'd never see again after Don got married. I looked down to finish reading what my _dong-saeng_, _little sister_, had written

_She's been watching you for much longer than you've been watching me. Start at the top and it's turtles all the way down._

I laughed at the reference to the cheesy joke I had told her once. She had laughed until she cried, and even through all my sadness, I still saw it as a happy memory. She knew that. I looked up at Liz who was walking toward me. She was watching _me._


End file.
